Because there are not going to be enough weekend recap posts...

^ he brought the rose for his dog girlfriend

I know what you are thinking, "how are Megan's chicken legs going to hold her up in a couple of months?"

I am wondering the same thing guys. This must be why hens sit down to lay eggs. 

Labor day was spent much like the rest of America spent labor day...eating and hanging out near a body of water. It's what we do best. 

Side story: Stephen and I took Charlie to the dog park a few days ago and there is currently only one table that is shaded in the entire park, and it's 95 degrees out still, so S and I headed straight to the shaded table. There was a tinder meet up first date couple seated at the table (we found this out after we sat down and unknowingly interrupted their awkward first face to face) and because it was 95 degrees out we decided to, gasp, share space with other people. Anyway, that's beside the point. We sat down and started chatting (I mean, we probably helped ease the awkwardness. That's what we told ourselves later) and Stephen asked, "So what is Labor day for?" and in typical American fashion we all answered with "uhm....let me google it." Fail. Actually in my defense I did say it was for the laborers whereas the other guy said "well I know 4th of july is for fireworks."  Close enough. 

Side story over.

This was definitely one of the best weekend I have had in awhile, although it didn't have much competition since the last 1 million (that number might be a slight exaggeration) weekends have been spent in a bed watching reality tv. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but you know, after awhile I think my brain started to slowly melt away and I was dreaming I was Kim Kardashian.  It was really nice to feel well enough to get outside and enjoy real life and food again.

Hope you all had a wonderful long weekend! Happy Tuesday!

 

 

 

 

The daily grind.

Who says you can't wear a sweatshirt, long sleeves and leggings in 95 degree weather? (everyone). Yes, I did sweat a lot. Everywhere.

I am fortunate in that my job is very relaxed and I don't start until the afternoon. It's not a schedule for everyone but it is ideal for the 1st trimester pregnant people, and people like me who don't love early mornings and really enjoy brunch.

Stephen and I have started making morning coffee trips before work and doctors appointments and I am loving this quality time with him. I am hoping our schedules continue to allow this little tradition to happen after the baby comes and we can make it a party of three at our local Starbucks. 

We have started planning and daydreaming about babymoons. We are thinking about keeping it local, as in, staying in California. Maybe a trip to Napa, to a place that has a day spa for me and  good wine for Stephen? When does one even go on a babymoon? I think we are planning for October? So many questions. Any and all suggestions welcome. 

Labor day weekend! Our plans include a trip to the beach and brunch (again, my favorite). I can't decide if this belly is cute enough for a bikini or if i should shove it into a one piece. These are the tough decisions. 

We have weekly pregnancy classes that we go to that is run through our doctors office. We actually kind of love them because they are private classes, so, just us and an instructor...and also free. Yesterday's class was about the growth and development that the baby in utero makes from first trimester to the third. A lot of the info is sort of old news and common sense and google already told us, but it's nice to talk to someone about what you are personally experiencing. She had plastic baby samples for each stage and my eyes definitely got really wide when I saw the size at the final stage. I'm scared for my body. 

S and I started watching The Knick and are getting pretty into it. Anyone else? 

And most importantly, I took the plunge and purchased these because I am not feeling dresses and skirts these days and need some jeans that I don't have to wear unbuttoned. I am not an every day dress person. I can't do it. I'm more like a once a week dress person so I need me some pants. 

Lastly, I am desperate for a good book recommendation. I have started a few (like Goldfinch) and stopped because I just couldn't get there. I don't know why. Something quick, fun, dramatic, guilty pleasure type read. Thank you.

The end.

 

Outfit details:

 emoi emoi sweatshirt/ button down  (my first maternity blouse! in love) c/o

Matty M leggings ($15 at costco right now...amazing. Thanks Lauren for the tip. Not maternity but work super well with or without a belly)

Loafers (old/ similar here and here and i want these)

Bag (borrowed for forever from my bff, similar here )

Aldo Sunglasses ($12...I mean...)

 

 

From the cutting room floor and other stolen ideas

Much like the baby pregnancy update post, this post idea (and title) has also been stolen. Originality is my middle name. I've seen it circling the world wide blog web but was reminded of it once again by Bridget's blog. Thank goodness we are friends or she would probably think I have a serious case of SWF. 

Here we go...

Making: A lot of peanut butter topped with apple butter toast. Stephen has been doing a lot of the main cooking, per usual. Last night was steak with loaded baked potatoes, mushrooms, and a caesar salad. 

Drinking: Half apple juice half cranberry juice (the pure organic kind, not the cocktail kinds). This mix is my jam recently, even though I know (now, after learning the hard way) that apple juice can actually make you constipated. So if you are struggling with that, don't drink a lot of apple juice. You're welcome.

Wanting: A glass of wine or margarita or both, who would have thought? 

Eating: Pancakes and Bacon (organic and nitrate free, don't worry) YUM.

Smelling: Coconut Oil that I just lathered on my body. For those that suggested using it as makeup remover...GENIUS. 

Wishing: For a non complicated painless and quick delivery. Too much to ask?

Enjoying: Mid day naps.

Loving: Quality time with Stephen. Always. 

Hoping: I don't throw up again today after a set back yesterday, which I may or may not be blaming on prenatal yoga. Verdict is still out. 

Needing: New clothes, especially jeans. I don't know if I want to commit to buying maternity jeans, so maybe i'll attempt to belly band it for awhile? I don't even know. 

Feeling: All the feelings. Cried in target because I wanted fruit loops but the world of healthy is overwhelming me. After much emotional turmoil in the lamps aisle I bought the fruit loops. And chocolate pudding...and a candle, because this is target. 

Wearing: This Kimono way too much. IT'S THE PIECE THAT COMPLETES EVERY OUTFIT. Trying not to buy all of these. Oh and Pajamas all day every day. Living in these Target ones, as seen above, which do not match, but whatever, comfort is key. I have two pairs of these and a pair of these. HEAVEN.

Bookmarking: Strollers. Stephen's been using the new love of his life, the intel 2 in 1, to research strollers per my request. My top contenders are (thanks to all of your suggestions on IG): Stokke4momsUppababy, Bugaboo and Baby Jogger.  So far Stephen's input is "nothing with only three wheels." There's no scientific reason behind it other than he thinks they look weird...so...

Noticing: A growing belly and little flutters inside. Both exciting and a little scary.

 

#spon: This Post was sponsored by Intel but all thoughts and opinions are 100% my own.

On Dealing with Anxiety during pregnancy

I have dealt with acute anxiety for as long as I can remember. Acute meaning I don’t really struggle in the normal day to day, but when a big change, good or bad happens, I sort of spiral and my mind and body becomes a tangled bundle of nerves and stress and no amount of talking myself down, lavender oil, exercise, or meditation helps. I either have to take something or ride it out.

It started when I was as young as elementary school age and my parents couldn’t figure out why I was sick to my stomach so often. I went to so many doctors, and they couldn’t figure it out, and finally chalked it up to a dairy allergy (if you know my love for and daily consumption of cheese you know this was wrong). I guess they couldn't believe someone so little could be so stressed out. 

My poor friends put up with my need to go home in the middle of the night from sleep overs, over night camps were out of the question, and the night before the first day of school? Forget it. I was done. 

As I got older I learned how to manage it a lot better, and it didn’t affect my life as much. I’ve never let it hold me back from doing big things like getting married (clearly) or moving to another country or getting an education or working. But the night before Stephen and I moved back to the US, even though I was so excited, I ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor because of the anxiety. 

Life changes where I feel out of control plummet me into the dark place. 

Stephen and I planned for a baby. The timing is great for us. Sure there could always be a better time, but really this is pretty good right now. I knew I would deal with some anxiety, but I definitely wasn’t prepared for how debilitating it was going to be the first couple of weeks after finding out. I didn’t sleep for two days, and didn't sleep a full night until 13 weeks. I ended up getting sick from the anxiety, and cried to my OB. I am assuming the hormonal changes happening didn’t help, but it was really bad and scary. I can only recall one other moment in my life where it was this bad, and that was years ago. I felt really frustrated with my mind, because I wanted to be so excited about being pregnant, but it’s like my brain wouldn’t let me and I couldn’t control it. 

I am writing about this now because in my research of anxiety during pregnancy I found nothing. The little bit that I found was totally outdated, and it left me feeling really alone and even more frustrated with my mind. There is a ton of information on postpartum depression and anxiety but very little on prepartum. I ended up feeling guilty and horrible because it felt like I was supposed to be feeling nothing but elation and excitement, and while I was those things in my heart, all my mind was telling me was to feel panic and fear. All I could think about was the horrible things that could happen from the beginning of pregnancy until my child is an adult and it made me not want to be pregnant anymore. That is A LOT to take on. I know...crazy town: population 1.

Rational thought was gone. I watched it fly away, and no matter how hard I tried to chase after it, I just couldn’t seem to catch it. 

Around 13 weeks a slight shift happened and I was no longer dealing with the anxiety. The newness of being pregnant has faded away and with it the feeling of being out of control. I can sleep at night, and I feel that excitement that I always heard so much about. I see a therapist every two weeks and am attempting to take the homeopathic route during pregnancy (meditation, diet, therapy) even though the anxiety is gone, I want to continue in a healthy mind/body experience during pregnancy. While the homeopathic route helps a little, it's not a cure-all, and a lot of time in more extreme cases medication is necessary. I am fortunate in that my anxiety is acute and therefore short lived, but I know that after the baby comes I will be starting all over again for a time, but I will be able to have a glass of wine so maybe there is more hope for me postpartum ;) 

The personal things I hold back from sharing on this blog are the ones I feel like wouldn't benefit anyone else from reading. There is a fine line on the web, and it’s not always clear, but I really try to be intentional about what I share when it comes to the more personal stuff.

Maybe I am alone in this anxiety struggle, but on the off chance that I am not, I want those who suffer as well to know they are not alone and you don’t need to feel bad or embarrassed. To you I say: it is not that you are not excited and grateful about being pregnant. You don't lack perspective. You are a good mom. It's going to be okay. 

We all have our struggles...our demons we battle. This is one of mine.