When friends have babies

My friends make cute kids, I know. 

In the past 2 years, I have had 10+ plus friends either have babies or find out they are pregnant. That is 10ish close friends, which means I am not even counting the amount of facebook/acquaintances who have had babies and or found out they are pregnant for the first or second time. Pretty sure every other photo on my instagram stream is of a baby. That is a lot. Now either a. I have too many friends and should start making cuts to save my ovaries from the pressure or b. baby season is in full bloom because I am at THAT age.

 

Stephen and I want children, though the thought still scares the crap out of me. I am such a control freak and losing control of my body and life for an extended time plus FOREVER totally gives me the sweaty palms. I also cannot imagine my life without a little Stephen(s) running around (I say Stephen because I was such a little B when I was little). 

 

Until that one day happens, I have been noticing the changes that occur in relationships and friendship when friends start having kids. It’s hard. There are things I don’t understand, and things my parent friends don’t understand. Mom’s naturally lose themselves sometimes to motherhood, and the childless friends have a hard time understanding why they can’t make time. It is all normal and no one is right or wrong, but the changes are there and it’s a struggle for both parties to adapt. For a while I started to feel really alone and disconnected. I couldn’t relate and would get annoyed and frustrated. I felt like my opinions on parenting (which I only even voice within the confines of the closest relationships) didn’t matter because I didn’t have kids yet. My friends would NEVER say that was the case, but how can it not be? I may have over a decade of working with and studying the behavioral traits of children, but if I were a parent I wouldn’t be jumping to hear the opinions of others who hadn't experienced it yet. I am also acutely aware of how my opinions may change when I DO have children. 

All that to say, I still want to be a part of the conversation and a part of the experience, but the latter is just physically impossible. 

My best friends who have kids are really great about balancing it all. I give them major props for going the extra mile and making time, getting sitters, taking a phone call or text. Not to mention I LOVE spending time with their kids. I mean, my friends have some seriously gorgeous offspring. My goddaughter is the sassiest funniest little toddler there is and I am obsessed with her. However, there is still that shift that takes place where we sort of have to get up and shuffle around to find a position that works and feels comfortable and then sit back down again. 

Thankfully, Stephen and I started going to a marriage group every other Sunday. It sounds a bit cheesy, and Stephen is still a little unsure about the religious aspect to it, but we can’t deny that being in a small community of other couples, (most who I have known for years) who are in the same phase of life as us, has not made a huge difference in how we feel. 

 

Anyone else going through this? I imagine I am definitely not alone here. 

 

 

Eating out: Pedalers Fork

Stephen and I have been on the hunt for some new, non-chain, places to try. My boss recommended Pedalers Fork to us, and so off we went on our bikes.

Just kidding, we drove. I don't even own a bike. Thankfully that is not a requirement to eat there.

Backstory: Stephen and I had a favorite little coffee spot right across the street from our flat in Scotland called Siempre Bicycle Cafe. They served up Stephen’s favorite coffee, Dear Green, which we now import to our doorstep here in California so Stephen stops complaining about the lack of good coffee out here. So this little bicycle cafe, that sold bikes and bike gear to those who actually rode bikes along with some yummy, fresh, healthy and organic food in their attached cafe, became our special spot. 

Now here we are hearing about Pedalers Fork with the exact same concept and we are like, it’s meant to be. 

It is located in Old Town Calabasas, which is this very cute little section of town that looks a little western/prairie-ish. Pedalers Fork is pretty big in size, with a cafe, bar, and restaurant, and decked out in the cutest little decor of wood and old bicycles. They have an outdoor deck that sits amongst tall trees, which is where we ate. 

Their food is locally sourced, organic, and has a ton of gluten free options for you gluten-free-ers out there. They also serve one of Stephen’s favorite beers, Allagash Curoiux, on tap. 

We started with the bacon wrapped blue cheese stuffed dates (dead) and for mains I got the grass fed burger and S got the fried egg sandwich with added bacon (duh), both equally delicious. Their fries are also yummy, and taste sort of like a thicker version of in-n-out fries, which is the highest of praise. We finished off with the ice cream sandwich and demolished it. 

It’s a bit on the pricier side, especially for their cocktails. However, you get what you pay for with large portions, really fresh and fantastic food and drink. They also get points in my book for giving you a big jug of 3x filtered water at no charge. I am already excited to go back and give their breakfast a try because I live for a good breakfast. They also have a happy hour, which is more wallet friendly and then you can get a little taste of some of the goodness. 

Happy eating! 

website here

 

Conversations

Me: Did anything surprise you about California? Like anything you didn't expect?

S: Black widows.

Me: That is a very random answer, but ok.


while driving:

S: It's telling me to take the 101 to the 170 to the 5 to the 118. God, I sound like a real Californian. 

(proceeds to talk in a "californian" accent)


Stephen's co-worker came up to me and said:

co-worker: (laughs) Jenna just came up to me and was like, that's not fair, how come Stephen has a nickname for you and not me? And I was like, he doesn't?? And she was like, ya he calls you cutie!

Me: :::confused expression:::

co-worker: and then I had to explain that he doesn't call me cutie, he just calls me by my name, KATIE, but just can't pronounce it properly.

Me: oh well that is a relief. 


While at a friends house:

Friend: So what is your favorite thing about America so far?

S: Ranch Dressing


After reading a blog post about diapers (Grace can make ANYTHING funny)

Me: Hey babe, what kind of diapers do you think we will use on our future babies? 

S: The regular ones.


Stephen walks into a foul smelling room: 

S: Ugh. Smells like a whore's handbag in here

Me: Uhm....


Me: I probably shouldn't have eaten that food last night. I feel a little sick.

S: Do you have the hoop soup?

Me: What?

S: The hoop soup. The ring sting. The runs.

M: WHAT. and NO. just no. 

 

 

 

photo by the lovely Christine Donee

T25 and my attempts at getting in shape. A true story.

t25.jpg

To begin, this is not a sponsored post of any kind. I did not receive any compensation or anything for free in exchange for writing this post. 

It’s a sad day when you feel like you have to start posts with that disclosure.

But T25

I started working out again a few months ago when I realized after binge eating my way back into America for months that my late twenties body was NOT my early twenties body and well it was a sad day for late twenties Megan.  People were starting to ask me if I was pregnant, which is probably the most motivating and or devastating thing you can ask someone who is not pregnant. I really needed to start toning, and especially building my core since I have a lot of not so fun back problems that have landed me in the ER a time or two. I did 6 months of physical therapy in Scotland and my PT basically said that I couldn't sit on my ass all day anymore, which was a bummer. 

After the holidays I started P90X. Lets just say I do not recommend doing P90X after being sedentary for a couple of years and have injured body parts. Less than a week of P90X and I was bed ridden for 48 hours and had to have my mom walk me to and from the bathroom. Note: I did fall down the stairs during this period in time which could have also contributed to my fragile state. But I am not even exaggerating for dramatic effect, I was in THAT much pain. When I told my close friends that I had started with P90X they looked at me full of fear and concern, because they know me and know how out of shape I am and I felt pretty pathetic. It’s a sad day when you’re friends are like, maybe you should start by just walking a little? 

 

Cut to Stephen and I watching television, and not working out, when we see a commercial for T25. 25 minutes a day is really what caught my eye, in addition to the awesome results they were showing. And another one bites the dust to a catchy commercial shilling product. Naturally, I told my mom about it because she and I are doing this whole get in shape thing together and she went ahead and just purchased it. I’m not saying that was my plan all along, but... 

It came in the mail and it was like Christmas, but the kind of Christmas where Santa brings you a juicer and some kale instead of suzy bake oven with cake mix. It had calendars that mapped out your daily routine (aka tells you the CD to pop in the DVD player) as well as some great diet ideas/meal planning/recipes. I personally need someone to tell me what to do and lay it out for me in a schedule, so this was perfect. 

It’s been 5 weeks of T25 and I am totally obsessed. I am so much stronger, have more muscle definition, and just feel better in general. The work outs are intense, and I had to modify quite a bit in the start for fear of death from squats, but week 4 and 5 I was finally nailing the work outs and not almost passing out. It makes you SWEAT which I love because then I feel like I am really doing something. You start with Alpha to get your base for 5 weeks then move to Beta. I just started Beta and barely made it through, but i’ll keep you updated because you asked. Sometimes I also tack on a 12 minute ab video to get a little extra ab in, because T25 ab is pretty challenging and sometimes I feel like I am not getting a great ab workout with it because it moves so fast and I am still working on making sure I am in the right position and long sentence about abs over. More info here.

I used to be in amazing shape when I worked in the fashion industry because people always made you feel bad about yourself which was also super motivating (in addition to being asked if you are pregnant when you are not, in case you missed that). Now that I don’t have people judging me every day and paying me to try and look good, going to the Gym feels like a fate worse than death. I think these videos make for a great compromise and you don’t have to deal with gym people. You know who I am talking about.

Phew. So much healthy talk. What is happening? Next thing you know i'll be posting gluten dairy sugar carb free recipes. Just kidding. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 

ALSO. This is the longest post ever put up on my blog and it is about health. Go figure.